I have an eleven-year-old son. He is gifted in music and creativity. However, struggles with reading, writing, and spelling. Last year I he took a dyslexic screeing test and the results said he was reading at grade level. But, he’s not doing well in school. His SAT scores were all below proficient. My son recently told me that he is stupid and that he will probably never have a good job. He is so bright. I want to ask the school to test him, but his father said that if he does have a learning disability and needs special ed., it will make him feel even worse about himself. His father is dyslexic, and remembers how awful he felt in school. My son loves going to school because of the socail aspects. But he has been having behavior problems in school. I feel an urgency to help him. Should I have him tested privately, to avoid school embarrassment. And if so, who should I have test him? Also, if he does have a learning disability, how do I get the school to help. Or do I home-school. How do I deal with the emotional needs of my son feeling “not normal”.
Re: whether or not to test my son
He needs to be tested and your husband needs to get over the special ed. thing. What makes a child feel bad is growing up confused, not performing up to his intellectual potential, and not getting help.
If you help him he will feel good about what he can accomplish. If he’s *only* dyslexic your husband needs to realize that dyslexia is much better understood today than it was in his day.
Re: whether or not to test my son
I would also have the testing done privately and hire a private tutor who is qualified. Contact the International Dyslexia Association www.interdys.org in your state and ask for a list of qualified evaluators and tutors. You can also see if there is a Lindamood-bell Clinic nearby. They do an excellent reading evaluation.
The fact that your husband had similar problems is an even greater reason to evaluate. Schools rarely remediate kids at that age, so I’d not count on help there. The one thing an IEP can get him, though, is accommodations, if needed. So keep an open mind about that part until you can get a diagnosis.
Janis
If it were me, I would have him tested privately.