I have a teenage son who was diagnosed ADHD, inattentive type along with a language based disability. I recently had parent teacher conferences with some of his teachers they thought his presentation of symptoms were unusual for his diagnosis. Their biggest concern was how quiet and shy he was. They all commented on how he hated confrontation of any sort and would just shut down when confronted. They also noted that he was a very compassionatte student who truly cared about others conditions. He rarely asks for help when he needs it, they felt because he thinks this would lead to confronation or not be the “norm”. His PE teacher said he would patiently wait his turn to be rotated into a game where the other kids would just jump in. His skills in basketball were comparable to the boys on the basketball team so it was not for lack of skill. Each of them commented on how he had some skills that were advanced for his age and others that were no where close to where they should be. They were impressed with how he seems to be happy with himself despite his difference. He once commented to his teacher “if we were all the same that would be pretty boring wouldn’t it?”. He carries this over into his friendships as he is able to be friends with just about anyone (willing to make 1st contact!). Speaking of contact they also seemed stressed about his lack of eye contact. His teachers seem really confused. I did not have many answers for them. Any thoughts?
Re: Unusual presentation?
Sara, I agree we have much to celebrate with him. His problems started in 1st grade with difficulties with reading, writing, and attention. We started an eval in 1st grade but had to move before completion. The new school said they would not complete it unless they saw a problem. He sailed through their 1st, 2nd and part of 3rd. Mid 3rd the teacher started to complain that he lacked attention, had difficulty starting and completing tasks, poor reading, writing, spelling and organizational skills. He was evaluated for ADHD in 3rd grade, again in forth and then 5th before they said yes, he has ADHD, inattentive type. What is amazing about it all though is they NEVER in that time tested his language skills. In 6th grade they finally tested his reading and language skills—and low and behold he scored as low as the 1st percentile. When he was orginally dx’d with ADHD we did try different meds that just put him to sleep. He has gotten direct LD services since we got to this district last year when he was in 7th grade. In that short time he has made big strides in all domains but still remains behind. His teachers this year felt that his dx just didn’t fit—not that a change of dx would change anything. Thanks for your thoughts Sara.
Re: Unusual presentation?
ADD students are unique. As I explain to my ADD/ADHD students, the gatekeeper of their brain works on its own schedule. When it decides to listen and process the information, they do well. When the gatekeeper takes a siesta, the information is not processed. The way the medication works, especially Concerta and Aderoll, is to have the gatekeeper remain awake all the time. Yes, an ADD will pick up new distractions so as a parent, you need to be sure the student is taught overcompensation skills. (organization and time management) Whether you decide to try medication or not is a personal choice but teaching overcompensation skills is the key to success. I have 19 years experience ranging from K, 2nd, 3rd, 5th regular ed and 6th, 7th, 8th special ed. Time management and organizational skills will make a huge difference. If grades continue to drop or withdrawn behaviors appear to worsen, consider talking to your counselors about Section 504.
Re: Unusual presentation?
Susan
Where can a mother find a good program for overcompensation
skills? Are there any good books for the layman. My dd had
big problems in the area and is being tested for adhd or asperger.
I would like to start in the home. Thanks
Teachers do care about a lack of eye contact. It’s something most modern teachers try to teach and it’s something worth having. People regard a lack of eye contact as unfriendly, even suspicious. But other than that, your post doesn’t mention what problems he’s having that led anyone to the diagnosis of ADD or even to why testing was done.
Where is he having trouble? Clearly not in his friendships or with his teachers.
Perhaps the diagnosis is incorrect. Unless your son is taking medication based on that diagnosis, what will it change if the diagnosis is changed?
I’d would say,though, a language-based learning disability can hit across the board. I have students with language-based learning disabilities who present as your son. They avoid confrontation as confrontation involved the rapid processing and exchange of language. They learn to be patient and communicate through their patience rather than through language which comes hard to them. It can impact on their reading, their writing, and their spelling.
That your son is happy, though, is key and puts you and your wonderful son way ahead of where many other parents and their children with learning differences are. That’s worth celebrating!