I had my child’s homeroom teacher give me a call saying there was a problem she noticed with my child in the resource room when she walked by. She said it was out of character for my child and since she was sick the next day attributed it to that when I questioned her.When I asked my child she said that the educational assistant that was teaching her math asked her what 7x9 was and my child answered 63 and was told that she gave the wrong answer by the assistant and my child said that she told the assistant that she didn’t know her 7’s then.I left a voice mail for the educational assistant to let me know what happened and no response. I asked the learning support person and this was her response. As far as the problem she was having, we don?t remember the specific issue. That has not been the only day though. Sometimes she doesn?t understand what is being said or gets confused with concepts that she is still trying to learn. When this happens, she gets upset and she has started to argue/yell more with the teachers. It can be difficult sometimes to get her to calm down enough for her to hear what the teacher is saying or for us to understand what she is trying to say?what is confusing or upsetting her. When that happens, we are leaving her alone for a few minutes so that she can calm down enough to be able to talk about what is going on. I have noticed an increase in her arguing with the teacher, and I?m not sure as to the real reason for it. Obviously there is something that is confusing or upsetting her to get her started, but I?m not sure why she seems to be more argumentative overall. If you have any insight that could help me, I?d appreciate it. After reading this, I am thinking if there was a problem why didn’t anyone say anything before now.My IEP is the next two weeks and I am trying to figure out how I should respond.
Lp
So your child gave the right answer and the teacher said it was wrong? And when the teacher said it was wrong, your child said she didn’t know her 7’s when she really did? Is that what happened? I’m not understanding the issue except the aid doesn’t know her math facts and is probably totally confusing your child and your child doesn’t have enough confidence in her knowledge to affirm her answer to the aid. I think that lack of confidence is just part of the whole LD thing.
Could you clarify?
Re: resource room problems how would you respond
Well, since 7 X 9 *is* 63, if the assistant said this is wrong then the assistant was the one in error, not the child. Or is this a typo?
One of those fine lines to draw here, standing up for yourself when you are right, versus having a chip on your shoulder and making the classroom unliveable. If the assistant is wrong and the child right — and it does happen, often — the child needs to be able to stick her ground, but to know a way to say it that doesn’t lead to a blowup (calling the teacher ignorant is just not productive, teachers are human too.) If the child has needs that are not being met, then she needs to know a non-confrontational way to ask.
Most often I have kids who are missing out on learning because they are lost. But sometimes there is one who knows everything and tells everyone else how to run their lives, not a good way to get help.
You could help her by giving her scripts of what to say in various situations. For example, when my daughter had a really terrible substitute who couldn not do Grade 2 arithmetic, or spell, I suggested to her that she should raise her hand and say “Excuse me, didn’t you say …” or “Excuse me, I think you may have left out …”
Re: resource room problems how would you respond
Yes, my child is saying that she herself got the answer right and the assistant told her it was wrong. I tried to get the other side of the story as I thought perhaps she said the numbers backward.I would think with the sense of urgency that the regular teacher left me in her message, that they would have remembered the situation. My child has been in the same rescource room, but the assistant that is teaching her math this year is the same one who was doing the Avko spelling last year where alot of words were mispelled in her log (which should not have been, because they are suppose to self correct). My child does not like this person and says during recess the assistant stands and talks to one of the other assistants,while the assistant she had the previous year before in math, goes around the playground talking to kids. Which I take to mean the assistant she has is not kid friendly.I am wondering if they are using manipulatives and visual aids to help with the concepts when she doesn’t understand. The message is too vague to me as it doesn’t let me know which concepts she was having trouble with. Or could this be a blanket coverage excuse?
Re: resource room problems how would you respond
It sounds to me as if the assistant is not very good, and your daughter is smart enough to realize this but is totally powerless to do anything about it. If it were my child, I would trust her judgment and see what I could do in terms of getting this assistant out of the picture and getting other people to work with my daughter.
Nancy
Re: resource room problems how would you respond
I’ve seen situations — as in the long-term sub for half of Grade 2 for my own daughter, plus many others when I was teaching — where the teacher’s aide, and even a supposedly qualified teacher, simply is not fully literate herself. This is a very hard situation to deal with: if the education system hasn’t led this person to literacy over twelve to sixteen years, you are not going to do anything with a few complaints and requests. And the person is generally very defensive about it, either out of true ignorance or out of fear of being shown up. Unfortunately efforts to help often fall on deaf ears because the person won’t admit to a weakness.
It sounds to me like the child is caught in the middle here, and it is a combination of the aide being stressed and ready to jump on anything that looks like criticism, and the child being stressed as well not understanding what is going on and what is supposed to be right or wrong, recipe for a blowup.
I owuld hope that aide could be moved out of academic tutoring, but easier said than done. Meanwhile you could go to the administration and point out that there is clearly a conflict with this aide and try to get your daughter working with someone else.
Re: resource room problems how would you respond
I would try to tease out if the arguing is happening with all the resource people, not just this one person
Lead them down that path and see if perhaps the light bulb can go off over THEIR heads, KWIM?
They WILL get defensive if you come in down on the aide from the beginning
I would go into the meeting seeking more info-you dont HAVE to redo the IEP on that given date. You have every right to gather info at that meeting and say you need more time and want to reschedule
Re: resource room problems how would you respond
Thank you all, I am composing a request for what concepts she is not getting and what manipulatives and visual aids that they have been using. I am also sending it to the psychologist ,so that maybe she can view what is happening in the resource room. Hopefully things will work out better.
LL
Maybe the regular teacher knows the aid is incompetent but knows nothing will get done until parents complain, so she is “alerting” parents that there is a problem.
Really, as an isolated situation, this doesn’t seem like that big a deal to me. I know in the work world errors happen and someone can be standing right in front of you and saying, “The rule on that is 194.5.” When you know it’s 149.5. And people can be very touchy about being corrected and if it’s not a huge situation - like a big mistake is about to made effecting the welfare of clients - then you sortof say to yourself, “Dingy” and you go on knowing the correct rule number is 149.5. And then sometimes you’ll question yourself, “Is 194 or 149?” Then you look it up in the rule book to see. If you’re confident enough, you can say, “Are you sure it’s 149 and not 194?” preferably in such a tone that doesn’t make the error-maker hold a grunge on you for 3 months, but that takes a lot of self confidence and a thorough knowledge of the pecking order in the office.
With the teacher calling it makes me think it’s a pattern of errors, and not an isolated thing.
How long has she been in the resource room?
Is this an adjustment for her? Does she feel ‘targeted’ because this is a change for her and she has become defensive
I dont know what the proper response is when a teacher corrects a child in error. If this was an isolated incident, I would certainly look the other way for both their sakes, but it does sound like a trend from the note
What does your daughter say when you just ask a general “what are you doing in there? Do you like your teachers? Do you like going?”