Son may be retained :(

I agree with you. I can’t see an 8 year old back in with 6 year olds. I’d also ask this. What will be different this time around in 1st grade for him? Do they think all he needs is a repetition of the curriculum and suddenly he’ll learn to read well?

As a teacher, that makes no sense to me. While it’s true that with some kids, ADHD or not, their “light can go on” and suddenly they do start to read and well, they don’t have to repeat 1st grade or any other to make that happen.

If this were my son (and it could be - my own son is dyslexic and struggles to read) I’d want him in second but given support so he can be successful. I’d also want to see him have remediation for his reading. And I’d definitely want his spelling curriculum modified. 2 1/2 hours a night is too much for him and for you.

My own son still doesn’t spell well in the 11th grade. I tried so many different ‘guaranteed not to fail’ methods. My husband didn’t start to spell comfortably until he was in his 30s. I don’t believe we can force people to learn to spell. Nature didn’t intend us all to do the same things at the same time even if that would be more convenient for us as teachers.

Good luck to you and your son. And Town 2 sounds like a nice place. Could he go back there? Do you have school choice?

Funny, I’m working on my masters and writing a paper on ADHD. I just happened upon your message and felt I had to reply. I am a second grade teacher in my third year. This is a second carrier for me and have two college aged children of my own. Ok, enough about me. First of all it is my experience that a student can not/should not be retained based on his/her performance in one subject area. You talked in length about his spelling, what about is IRL? Does he enjoy reading? Have you tried integrating technology? CD Roms and letting him type the words may help. I sympathize with your problem and it seems to me that the school is lacking adequate staff and funding. I know from experience that when there is limited funding for students with special needs that they often eliminate the least needy so maybe this is a positive sign. How is his behavior, maturity level and social interactions? I take all of these into consideration when I am considering retention. If I think of anything else I’ll let you know. Hope I was of some help.

Thank you Theresa for your reply. You know when you mentioned dyslexia, I thought could this be a problem with my son also. How is a child diagnosed with this and is there some characteristics that I may be missing? He does reverse his b’s and d’s and his writing is very very poor. His letters do not sit on a line and they are in different sizes. May I ask how your son was diag.?

I’ve also bought programs and still looking for that ONE that will pull us out of this. I will be speaking with my parents about putting him back in town #2 elem. school. May I ask you, as a parent, do I have any rights regarding the decision to retain my son? I live in Texas. I feel like I should know this question as this is my field but since I have no teaching experience I do not even know this question.

I was looking at my son’s student handbook and it clearly states in there that a student not meeting the essential elements will be tutored. Well, that hasn’t been done for my son. Last year his pediatrician asked that he be assessed across the board. He did not have the 15 pt. discrepancy needed to be diagnosed as LD. I feel that he could have been helped through Section 504 due to ADHD but this was not offered to me at the ARD meeting. The Diagnostician suggested he be closely followed.

What I am thinking of doing come next week (we’re on Spring Break this coming week) I am going to request another full assessment. I know they are not going to like this because this school is not financially sound right now. They owe money to the State due to attendance “cheating”. They have cut personnel and now I see how the students are being hurt by this. It’s a sad situation all the way around. I am my only son’s advocate and I need to do something. I really appreciate your advice and it has helped me put things into perspective. I feel SO MUCH BETTER NOW! Thank you so much and God Bless. ; )

Oops, got the name wrong. This message was answering Sara’s reply. Thanks Sara. I’m new to this discussion board and got the names mixed up. Thanks again!

Thank you Theresa. I would’ve loved to have done my research on ADHD but my professor discouraged me from it since in our school we had a lot of requests to do it on that topic. I appreciate that we have people interested in this and can help us with some insight in it.

You hit the nail right on the head when you mentioned adequate personnel/funding. This school has been hit with having to pay back to the State of Texas $118,000 because of false attendance records. The kids are the ones who are suffering. They offered the more experienced teachers a retirement package because they just couldn’t afford their salaries. I would like to know how the person responsible for this wasn’t indicted for something! What an injustice to the kids.

My son does not like to read. He gets frustrated. He is not on first grade reading level. But when I read to him and ask him “what is this word and this word”, and on some he can read them! On some of the words he tries to sound every single letter. I’ve made digraph, trigraph, vowels, etc. cards, but he sometimes still tries to sound every letter out.

I have several CD-Rom reading activities, phonics, and educational games. His favorite is Jump Start ABC’s. It’s geared to 3-5 years olds. Way to easy for him but he enjoys it so I let him play it. The others are just not interesting for him. I haven’t thought of just letting him type the words on regular word processing and I will definitely try this too!

His pediatrician requested tests to be done to see if he had ADHD. He was given a full battery of tests last year and he didn’t have a LD. The Diagnostician recommended that he be followed closely. I now think he should have been served under Section 504. When we get back from Spring Break I intent to request that he be tested again.

As far as the good sign, I doubt it as I have a friend who’s son is attending Reading Lab and he’s doing so much better than mine is. I think the school has just given up on my son.

I have another question that I asked Sara in the previous reply. Do parents have rights in deciding whether their child is retained? I know that they cannot retain him twice in the same grade but what about the first time? It seems that they have made their decision and I was never even notified of this. Thanks so much for the input and God bless. Good luck with your research!! I know you will do an awesome job.

I don’t know any of the legal rights issues here, but I will express my view that retaining this child would seem to be a huge disservice. If I were in your situation and could pull him out for homeschooling immediately. Based on all the things I have read on these Boards (especially the Teaching Reading one) you should teach your son decoding by using Reading Reflex (find out more by posting on that Board or doing a search). Since he likes to use the computer, you might consider getting the program Read, Write, and Type, which uniquely teaches the letters for typing by their sounds rather than their names. This, like Reading Reflex, should also help with phoenemic awareness, which he appears to be lacking. Good luck.

Thank you for your thoughts and I will definitely do more research on Reading Reflex. Thank you so much!

Bonnie, I tried to email you back directly but it wouldn’t let me for some reason. I’m glad I could be of some help. There are lots of websites that have online activities that promote reading and writing skills. Also, I don’t know what the laws in your district are about retention but I can tell you that here in NC, parents do have a say-so in whether or not they will be retained. I had a student last year that I felt strongly about retaining. His parents refused and rather than taking it to the school board, I passed him but documented in his records that I was against his promotion so that I would not be held accountable. This might work in your situation. I would discuss your concerns with the principal, but again, I don’t see how they can retain him when he is on grade level in all but one subject area. Also, is there a maturity or behavior issue here? Talk to you soon! Theresa

I think that homeschooling is a great idea if it’s possible. Who wouldn’t want to teach their own children at home? Unfortunately, not all home situations allow us to do that. I am interested in the Reflex program and am going to look into that for my own students. Thanks for the idea!

Theresa, Sorry about the e-mail address. I typed it in wrong! duh.

To give proper credit, the Reading Reflex idea was from “wondering” posting. I was looking into the Reading Reflex and it looks like a good book and good approach. I’m thinking of ordering it. I buy all my books if I can through Half.com. I buy used and save a lot of money not only on my college textbooks but interest books also. You might want to look there to buy it if your interested in it. I believe they are the least inexpensive and they usually do have things in stock. I’ve been using them and even selling some of my college texts and it works great. I’ve never had a problem and have been using them for two years now.

I will be speaking with the principal (who by the way has a reputation for being a hard >>>). I know he’s going to try and convince me but I will have to stand up for myself and my son. If all else fails, I will pull him out for the rest of the year to homeschool. I don’t know if I do that if anything they put in his records that would keep him from being promoted to the 2nd grade when we leave here and I try and enroll him in a public school.

I don’t know if I’m repeating myself here but I was looking at my son’s handbook and it clearly states that a child that is not meeting the essential elements will receive tutoring. This has not been offered to my son other than just classroom instruction. From what I see no teacher in the 1st grade stays after school to tutor. In the previous school my son was at all teachers stayed until 4p.m. and did tutoring to students requiring it. It seems that these teachers were doing their job. Well, thank you so much for all your help I appreciate it and it gives me the confidence that I need to stand up for myself and my little guy.

Thank you! I corrected my e-mail address. If I don’t answer it’s because we’ll be leaving for Spring Break. Not going to be much of a break as I intend to use it to help my son. I’m not going to overwhelm ourselves though. : )

Theresa, Regarding the question maturity level and behavior, his maturity level seems to be ok. He gets along with other kids and cares to make friends with kids who don’t have someone to play with. Behavior sometimes can be a problem but I believe this is due to not being able to sit still and focus on his work.

I call him “my little motor” because he is on the go all the time. He can’t sit still and as soon as we get home from school he’s brings his stuff in and goes outside to play and it’s so hard to get him inside. He’s like a caged animal when he’s indoors. I literally have to lock ourselves in our he’ll escape and go outside again if I don’t keep him busy and occupied.

Your son is still very young. Some of the things you describe him to be doing could be simply his age. My own son struggled to read right from the beginning. By second grade he was telling us, “There’s something wrong with my reading.” We had him tested (finally) and the test not surprisingly showed he wasn’t able to blend sounds in his reading. He doesn’t “decode”. He reads by sight, as some say.

Your son is too young for anyone to definitely say that however. Give it some time.

When it comes to rights, I’m never sure. I took my son out of public school years ago and I do not teach in a public school. I think you do have the right to refuse to allow him to be retained but there would be many others who post to the board who’d know for sure.

Good luck to you and your son.

Meds would help him immensely, especially in slowing down his racing motor enough so he can process things and they stick. The homework nightmare gets conquered too without tears. Meds have really helped my kiddos’ along with behavior modification. My daughter was struggling consistently through elementary school until we finally figured out by 5th grade that ADD was part of the problem too. We never retained we remediated..

Pattim, I have tried meds but not consistant. His teacher in town #2 encouraged me not to give it to him so all this time he had been off but a few weeks ago I started him on it again. It’s hard for me to as my mom gives me the biggest guilt trip ever. It confuses me whether I’m doing the right thing. He’s on Concerta. May I ask you what meds your daughter is on? Thank you so much for your posting. I really appreciate everyone’s help and insight! ;)

Bonnie, I’ve been reading your messages and I sympathize with you. My son has ADHD also and was on meds(Ritalin, Concerta, Dexadrine etc) . Yes, it helped some but he had so many side effects that we discontinued all stimulants and he is now on Imipramine(antidepressant). My son is 10 and in 4th grade. He is also unable to spell and his writing was horrible until last year. We decided to quit trying to teach him printing and went to cursive. We found a wonderful program called Handwriting Without Tears. It teaches very simple cursive in 5 mins. a day. Also, the book “Right Brained Children in a Left Brained World”, has been very helpful in teaching me the way to get through to my son.I took him out of school last year and have been home schooling ever since. He didn’t qualify for any intervention because he is “gifted”. They seem to think if you are labeled gifted you CAN’T have a learning disorder! What a shame so many children have to suffer because schools don’t care. They wouldn’t even put that he was ADHD in his IEP! My son has a problem with math too. He is great at concepts but because of his lack of attention and retrieving problems he has a hard time with computation. If anyone else has this dilemma please advise us. thanks Jan
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My daughter is on Concerta and has been on it for about 18 months..My older son is on Dexadrine. They are both ADD-Inattentive but my daughter is more hyper… The change has been incredible in both kids…my daughter went from getting F’s to A’s and B’s, and my son made the principals honor roll after years of mediocrity…

Part of the problem that has been created is due to the lack of consistency in taking meds.. You have to try different meds sometimes but whatever meds one takes they need to be given consistently to benefit the child. Everything needs to be consistent, all across the board, the behavior modification, educational therapy and medication. They all work together to help remediate your son.

Meds help one to concentrate and process things much better. My daughter reminds me every morning to take her meds because she knows that she does much better on them and feels more in control of herself, otherwise she is goofy and acts like a space cadet..

Be consistent about giving the meds to him, do it for at least two weeks and hopefully he will notice the difference as he has to learn what it feels like to focus and be able to stick to things so he can feel a sense of accomplishment.

Perhaps his meds will need to be adjusted. My daughter has grown and now she is on 2 small pills once a day. She knew when we needed to up her meds as she wasn’t doing as well focusing and told me. The doctor made an adjustment and she said, “I can concentrate and focus again! Don’t feel guiltly about giving him the meds..The doctor wouldn’t have prescribed them unless there was an obvious need.

Bonnie

I reatained my son in kindergarten. You do have a right to fight your child being retained. You should be requesting testing done by the city that you live in. I had to write a letter requesting testing done to the special education director. The testing was done by the city I also had testing done by one of the Doctors who pioneered in ADD. I have had my son on Ritalin, Adderall,and now concerta. The only medication that worked was the concerta. The doctor that is prescribing the medicine should be weighing your child each time to make sure the amount prescribed is the correct dosage. Also wants the testing is done you then should have a team that works for you. This would include a chairperson, liason,principle,teacher and with add a behavior modification specialist. If you can have your child assigned to be seen for counseling within the school that should cover him for an IEP plan. This way if you have an IEP plan you will continue to get services. For handwriting you should be requesting an occupational therapist to work on these issues. Also check to see if there is a Department of Education in your state and find out who your representative is for your city and see what the guidelines are. Sorry to be so long winded. I know this took me over a year to get all of the services for my son but he is doing excellent in school now and is in the 2nd grade. It is a long road and a lot of fighting to get what you want. My son also receives tutoring once a week.

Thank you Jan, for your post, because “Handwriting With Tears” is all we do! Handwriting Without Tears seems like a much better way! We were just rejected for any special ed. help because my daughter is “average”. She is one of those kids that falls into a black hole, let her get C’s and D’s, because she isn’t willing to help herself , they say. We just pulled her out of school on Friday and I am going now to look up Handwriting Without Tears! thank you so much.
We spent years on adderall and I guess it was okay, but since I am not in her class I just don’t know. And the side affects…getting her on the medication were awful. They gave her an instant headache until we eased her on them and that took 2 weeks, and then if we forgot…start all over. Concerta made her bounce off the walls, and the Metadate we have her on now…I just don’t know if it is doing anything…or if anything would have helped in this horrible year with the horrendous 6th grade teacher we have had. Antidepressants have been suggested but I think we are going medicine free for awhile to see where she is.Thanks so much for your posting.

Jan, Thank you for the book titles. I will certainly check them out. I hope your son is doing better. Mine is not and still having trouble with the teacher not wanting to tutor my son even though it’s in the school handbook. No type of intervention is being considered. I’ve decided I will not allow them to retain him as they have done nothing but sit on their fanny and allow him to get more and more behind. Anyway, thanks again and God bless.

Thanks Lynda on all your information it will certainly help me in arming myself with information as I discuss the issues with my son’s teacher. He is getting further behind as demonstrated by the last 3 weeks’ progress report. Now Math is an issue. He went from an 84 to a 50. Still no recommendations have been made regarding tutoring etc. I’m very frustrated as I don’t like to get mad or cause headache but this is my son and I WILL come down hard on these people who I see are just letting my son fail and are not doing anything about it. Thanks for your very very informative information! :)

Your welcome Bonnie. good luck. Go in to the teacher armed with your handbook and the pages that state he should have tutoring. If need be advise if she can’t help you to direct you to someone who can. Don’t wait go up the list to all the educators you are able to use. Also check to see if you have a local Pac in your city and go to them to get some ideas or names of mediators who can step in and fight for you. If that doesn’t help go to the Head of the school department and your final step go to the mayor. I have done that and it really works. The mayor does not want to hear from parents but if you continue to call him/her they really do step in.

Dear Wondering, I bought the book Reading Reflex and I thank you so much for suggesting this book. so far we are working on the lessons. A lot of the items on there are on the TPRI assessment that was given to my son. Thank you so much! I will post the results later of how our lessons are going.