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Conflict with school

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

My son is now 14 and has been diagnosed with A.D.H.D. since the 4th grade. Here is the current situation. (With a little background to understand) My son was places in the Gited program in kindergarten and thrived. He stayed in this program even when he was diagnosed with ADHD, the atmosphere was perfect. In the 6th grade my son went from a A student to a F student and I was doubting the benefits of ritalin. The side effects are what really encouraged me to take him off. This was also the year the the family moved and my son lost all his friends, routine and stability. Again a year and half later we moved again (military family) and now we are presently in Italy and my son attending a DoDDs school in Naples. The grades went up and down along with his moods. I had him placed back on ritalin and tried to explain that he needed extra help because of his ADHD. The school said they could NOT place him in any special program for ADHD because his test scores were “Too high”!!!!!! This is what gets me; he scores too high for help but he is coming home with nearly a straight F report card. This has killed his self esteem and the teachers/counselors insist thay he will be fine if he would buckle down and do his work and pay attention in class. He started on adderall only 10mg I did see a pleasant change but he has such doubts in himself. Please someone out there believe me and help, June

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 08/05/2002 - 9:34 AM

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Hi June,
I have an add/inattentive son in a DODDS middle school in Germany. He does take medicine, we haven’t had the side affects I have read about thankfully.

He is not in pullout here, he was included in 6th and 7th grade but with sp.ed support.
We came with an iep from VA but the school here retested him. I will admit to not being all that impressed with their version of testing, they only used one test where in VA they used around 8.

*However, they requalified him sp.ed under “Category A other health impaired”, which is what he qualified under in VA.
On the DODDS sheet for eligibility it is under physical impairment not learning impairment.

There is a list of curricular and environmental accommodations that the sp.ed folks have, we went through and picked what we thought would help.
We have had a good experience so far with the DODDS middle school, my son’s teachers have been very receptive to his accommodations.

The problem we military parents have is that DODDS schools are subject to IDEA law and all but they aren’t subject to the Dept of Education rules. We are army, the DA made a reg. using the education law. So although there are things there that comply with the law, it is very confusing to figure out who is the higher authority, where do you go with a complaint and so on. Ya know, can you use a jag lawyer, etc. I was given a copy of parent rights and responsibilities as well as a copy of the regs.

My best advice is to go to your family support center, there should be an efmp coordinator there. The one here was very supportive, offered to go to meetings with me and was willing to listen to me. Apparently here, they have been working with the schools to make sure kids don’t get lost in cracks, the ones who don’t qualify for sp.ed. I forgot the name of the program she mentioned. She/he may also be able to help with meeting parents in the same boat, here it is called SNAG. special needs advocacy group. There is also an adhd support group that meets at the family support center.

The other person to talk to may be your son’s doc. He/she may be able to help out with this too. Maybe a referral to mental health. Our adhd kids frequently have difficulty with change, middle school age is a tough one. Gotta admit, moving to Italy, leaving all your friends, starting middle school and all it’s challenges is really tough to handle for anyone. At any rate they may also be able to help you access help for your son.

Having a high iq does not mean that the kid doesn’t have other adhd issues that can affect school. I have read a lot of parents complain about the school’s answer to gifted adhd kids. Too smart for help. That’s supposed to be the definition I thought of ld, average or above average iq having academic difficulty unexplained by other things such as blindness, deafness, mental retardation, inadequate teaching or disadvantaged life.

Please look into the efmp, ask questions of your neighbors, call mental health to find a support group or someone who has been through this and can possibly help. The one thing I haven’t any experience with is the 504, I think you can access it here also but I don’t know the details. Something else the efmp person can help with I think.

If you can’t find these folks, write back and I will see what I can do here to get you the info you need.

There is an military advocacy group, for special needs folks I can only remember part of their name
PAVE, they are based in Seattle.

Write back and let us know how things go, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Best wishes,
Amy

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 08/06/2002 - 2:46 PM

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amyf mentioned PAVE— you can link to their website from LDOnline”finding help”. They are the parent training and information center for Washington State. STOMP (Specialized Training of Military Parents) is a part of PAVE (not sure of the exact relationship, but PAVE’s site will get you there) and serves the same purpose for military families. Amyf is correct, DODDS regs. are slightly different than DOEducation. Have you heard of a 504 plan for accmomodations/modifications? DODDS may not call it that, but they can use a MIP (modified instruction plan) to offer the same thing to a kid who doesn’t qualify for SPED but is OHI due to ADHD or whatever. Follow up on amyf’s suggestions— they’re excellent!

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 08/07/2002 - 5:30 AM

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Dear June,
Hi, my name is Rose and my husband is Ret. Army(22 years). Our oldest son was diagnosed with AD/HD when he entered 1st grade.In 99 he showed sighns of ODD which is a co-occurdisorder w/AD/HD. It has been an experience to say the least. He is now 15 and we are starting the process of an OCR(office of civil rights) complaint against the school my son attends.We moved here in 99, with positive thoughts and plans for a new start. As a family and for Justin. The school never recognized our son as having a disabilitiy, he has been assaulted, ridiculed, harrassed,suspended and the thing the teachers and administrators like to say is ok that they remove him from his class to sit by the office(doing nothing) ALL the time. We live in eastern washington(rural)area student body k-12th is 244. I am a paraprofessional in the special ed/title l @this same school. We as our sons biggest advocates have felt the frustration.The school never made ANY accomodations until we took them to due process after we requested an evaluation and the school denied Justin ANY services. We contacted ESD (in charge of the school), we then had a meeting at our request and the Special Ed Director who over sees our department at school told the administrators to get a 504 plan in place until the evaluation is completed. The school was out of compliance with not only state laws but federal also under IDEA. The school lied so terribly bad, told the ALJ(due process hearing) that Justin is doing just fine. Because Justin blew the test out of the water, on medication! Why didn’t they test him without? The reality is that our son was suspended AGAIN 2 days before school was out(discipline related to his disability), he also was missing about 100 assignments from different subjects and was told the last week of school he would not graduate 8th grade until he turns in at least 50% of the missing work. The principal told me the last day of school(8th grade promotion) that justin will be able to pass. We still don’t have his final report card because they say he didn’t turn in a book.We do not have a copy of the so called 504 plan that they ? made up in May 02. I can’t tell you loud enough to fight for an IEP under IDEA part B other health impairaments. The 504 has protection under Office of Civil Rights but the school has a lot of lattitude in how they accomodate our children. With an IEP you the parents are totally involved with the plan vs 504 maybe the first meeting you will be involved but they can make changes in the 504 without your involment as to the IEP they can not. Be your childs strongest advocate because it is terribly important for our children to know someone truly does understand the struggles they go through day to day in school, home and in the community. NICHCY is a wonderful site. Department of Special Education is on the internet and one that I found most helpful is CHADD. We are not rich and we know what lies ahead will be a stuggle, but it is time for the people who have had such a great responsibility in the injustices that have happened to our son to answer why? We need to think of his needs and work together in helping him be successful. Justin does deserve a fair and appropiate education (FAPE). My advise to you is to get educated on the laws that protect children with disabilties. Lydia Farnham is from CHADD and she sent good resources to us. www.chadd.org We wish you luck and let me know how things turn out. Rose

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 08/07/2002 - 4:55 PM

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To everyone responding,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Honestly, I nearly gave in to the fact the our situation was at a deadend. Now, after reading every response I feel so much stronger and ready to go to bat with the positive attitude that your advise is the soultion. I went this morning to the Naval Hospital here in Naples (with the printed copy of the info from Amyf and Rover) and my son was given a referral to some psych. counselor who I was told by the physician that is knowledgable with STOMP and I was specific about the 504 plan. I am glad though that Rose mentioned the IEP as this is a key to what I hope to be the very resources that we need. By the way Rose, you described so much of what my son experiences including the 100 missing assignments and how at the last minute the school either demands them or refuses to accept any late assignments. I do feel a chance here and I hope success to you too.

I will keep everyone posted to how this plays out. Thank you, June

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 08/08/2002 - 12:15 AM

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June, sounds like things are headed in the right direction. I fought with school personnel for 5 years in two states before moving overseas. The Educational and Developmental Intervention Services department of the Naval Hospital had a wonderful clinical psychologist who did some of the testing on my child (school also did some). She strongly supported the need for an IEP (even though the scores were not technically low enough) and attended the meetings at the school— so finally in the 7th grade my child got the help needed. I know everyone “disses” military medical care, but in our case it was a lifesaver in more ways than one.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 08/08/2002 - 6:15 AM

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Amy,

I printed your information and went to my sons medical appointment yesterday feeling so much stronger and that I can set my son up for success. Of course he needs to be responsible too but right up until I read the responses from you, Rover and Rose I honestly felt that there was no more use and that I needed to except the fact that this was just how it’s going to be.

Anyways, I have a busy morning and I better get going I will keep you posted and thank you so much!

June

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 08/09/2002 - 1:39 AM

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Your story is very believable and my heart goes out to you and your son. The process of paying attention to a short test administered by a single tester and that of paying attention all day long in school are two very different things. That he can score high on tests does not mean he can do well in the very different process that is school.

I’d try to point that out to them. Point out to them that when he was tested it was just him and the tester. Ask them to provide him with the same environment for his daily education - one on one- and that then he will likely perform well in school as well.

To boost his self esteem I’d have a long conversation with him about the sad failings of the system and make sure he knows this is not his fault - it’s theirs.

Good luck.

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 08/09/2002 - 7:35 PM

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I really wish I had discovered this site long ago! This past week I have really felt so much better and stronger about the aproaching new school year that starts here August 26. I just hope I can gather all the info I need in time . If I can just make the educators here in Naples see our view point and really help us instead of the old pat on the back saying he will be fine and that he just needs to pay attention in class or if he would just turn his assignments in. It was a viscous cycle and I hope that will be left behind and we can start anew with a reachable goal and a workable plan. I will make all the contacts suggested to me and keep all of you posted. Thanks so much, June

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 08/23/2002 - 3:10 PM

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i am going through the same the only difference is my son is 10 and they had the county srvices step in and send him away to a residental house for assessment for 35 days we fought the school for getting the county involved wwe have won our case but its now in appeal the school here has the county step in instead of finding a plan to help our students my son is now odd he was ebd for 4 years my lawyer had them change it i never understood the ieps and the school never explained anything to us we never received a right pamplet untill we asked for a due process hearing never even heard about that untill they took my son away by means of the childs court we are not unfit parents we are just parents with a adhd child that is going through heck to keep our sons rights protected please if you have any suggestions to help us email me thank you for reading this

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 08/27/2002 - 6:23 PM

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Tomorrow is the big day for me. I will be meeting with the High School’s IEP Counselor. I did talk briefly once with him and then just today I had talked with the Physician who will sit in on the meeting. I know that my son has rights and indeed does qualify for assistance from what is stated in the STOMP web site. I promised all of you I would keep you updated as to what the outcome will be. I am also going to be searching this very site for guidance on how to legally start a ADD/ADHD Support Group here in Naples, Italy. We can really use something like this. If you have any last minute advise I will welcome it. Thanks, June

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 08/27/2002 - 6:37 PM

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Jenny,

I am not quite sure of your situation. Do you have your son back yet or not? Are you a military family? There are many more questions and like other concerned parents I have advise but I am not sure what exactly you are looking for. I personally have three children and all are ADD/ADHD; however each child is unique in thier own way. I have experienced a variety of trials and I am still learning as we all grow. I am actually attending a meeting tomorrow to help my oldest get the very much needed assistance that he needs and is entitled to. It was this site that sparked the hope that something can be done. If I don’t have the answers that will help you keep looking around this site and be patient as there is going to be a caring person at the other end that will try to help.

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 08/27/2002 - 7:12 PM

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Jenny,

I need to run or I would write more but go to:
www.wrightslaw.com

PLEASE!!! There should be info here to help you and your families lawyer to fight for your son.

Ciao, June

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 08/27/2002 - 11:57 PM

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June, I’ve kept following this thread because we too are a military family. I like to remind myself to go into these preliminary meetings (I’m assuming this is not an eligibility or actual IEP meeting yet) with an open mind and assuming that these people really do want to help my child and work with me. You can always get nasty later! Tell them you’d like to take notes so you can remember… ask for explanation of any terms etc. that you are not familiar with. Make sure you are clear on what the next step will be— who will do what and by what date. I also like to go in with some notes with questions and main issues I want addressed. Good luck!
P.S. The EFMP office and school counselors might be interested in helping you form the support group—we had one going that I believe was started by a school counselor with his own ADHD child.

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