new here-ramblings and a question

there are a number of parents on this board who have taken their children out of SPED. But mostly because the sped program was bad, the child was missing core curriculum content and they were providing the services privately.
if your son needs services, he needs services. how are you going to provide the services he needs? If you have a really good handle on his needs and can get services privately then, by all means, reject the servies offered by the school.
tough question but is he worried about being different or are you?
If you are just going for diagnosis now, you are in the hardest part of being the parent of an LD child. There is guilt and anger at the beginning. But remember to look at the other points, you are getting a handle on at age 8 and there are many here who wished they had been aware when their child was 8 and not 10 or 12. Your opportunities for remediating at age 8 are terrific.

Hang in there

kids are taken out of class all the time, whether it be for music, speech therapy, drama, ot etc.. its very common now.. another parent on this forum wrote that her child is very confident about why he leaves class.. you will find that other kids become envious - they too want help!
as for labelling, i wouldn’t worry too much.. once he is able to express himself, his intelligence will just shine through and the label will no longer apply.. these labels are not set in concrete..
my daughter also has problems expressing herself, both verbally and on paper.. i waited until she was 10.. i wish i nipped this when she was 8.. she too will be taken out of class for speech therapy.. i believe its better to work with the difficulties now and overcome them rather than to wait until they hit high school and the difficulties just escalate..

I didn’t mean to imply that I would refuse all services-just that he is doing well in regular class so far, and he doesn’t need sp. ed classes. He just may need help with expressing himself, organization, etc. I guess I am really sensitive about it, because I had a friend in school who was having family problems and was depressed, and the school put her in sp. ed because she was failing, but she didn’t have an LD. :shock: She ended up dropping out.

I hope the other kids are jealous that he gets to leave class! I hope he doesn’t miss anything too important. Maybe I’ll send a note in to his teacher asking that if he misses something, please send it home. I would hate for him to have to miss recess or something fun. (But I don’t think his teacher would do that-I really like her.)

fantastic to hear that you really like your son’s teacher!! i’m a teacher and its a rare thing to hear..
my daughter has a similar problem - expressive language and has sped.. she is however more advanced than her grade level and is not struggling per se.. but she is in sped because the school feels that she is not reaching her full potential..
sped is not only for those kids who are behind, its for those kids who are doing well but could be doing so much better..
imagine how well your son will do once he gets help with his expressive language!!

I hope this doesn’t sound too harsh , but get over the whole label thing. if he needs the help he needs it. If he has trouble expressing himself than he knows this and if he’s smart it just makes the discrepancy more painful. Being different will only be more difficult to deal with as he gets older so its better to do it now. Hopefully he wont’ need services forever, but if he does , or if he needs accomodations he’ll need to understand how he learns so he can advocate for himself someday.

You have three choices:

1. accept the school’s services which require a label

2. get the same or better services privately which will require scheduling and usually paying for it yourself. You won’t need a label at school but will need a diagnosis for insurance coverage, although mine never covered such services. It will take time to attend appt. ect. so you will be able to do less other things.

3. do nothing—which, in my opinion, is denying there is a problem. It is not that easy to qualify for help from school. In other words, there has to be a significant problem in order for your child to be offerred help.

We have done extensive out of school work but not because I wanted to avoid a label. We took advantage of school resources too—they just were not adequate.

Beth

[quote]tough question but is he worried about being different or are you?
[/quote] I’m worried about him [i]feeling[/i] different. He’s a sensitive kid.

To clarify the label thing, I don’t want people to see the label and not my child. Is there something wrong with that? I’m fine with who he is.

I’m new to all of this, you know? I feel like I don’t have much control over the situation, and it’s a little scary, that’s all. All of the worst case scenarios are going through my head… I’m good at doing things, not sitting on my hands and waiting.

hi Wolfmom,
I really didn’t mean to come down on you. I just believe that a smart 8 year old with learning differences already knows he’s different. Especially if he’s sensitive. ( I have one of these types of kids myself!) A label can be empowering. Instead of thinking he’s stupid he can know that he’s a smart kid who has trouble getting his thoughts out because he learns differently…… or whatever language you decide to use to describe it.

Karen, point taken. ;) *sitting on my hands and waiting*

I agree that our kids know they are different-often before we do and certainly before they are offered services.

I’ve walked in your shoes. I hoped a new pair of glasses would ‘fix’ things! As my ex-sister-in-law used to say ” Denial ain’t just a river”. Your son maybe greatly relieved to know the reason he is having trouble isn’t becuase he is ‘stupid’ but there is a reasonable explanation and a plan of action to work on his troubles.

Call the school guidance counselor and talk about things you can discuss with him. She may have some good starting points.

good luck

If the teacher and the parent are positive in their attitude regarding the pull-out of the child for services, eight-year-olds are usually accepting of the situation. If you wait until you have a 4th or 5th grader who now you decide needs help and pull-out your son may not be as accepting of the pull-out.

My son’s are now 17 and 20 and they both started services as eight-year-olds. My 17-year-old has a study skills class in High School and he is taking to AP (Advanced Placement) classes this year. He is dysgraphic in the sense that his handwriting is unreadable but he could also be considered gifted.