Hi to all. I stumbled on this site because on Friday my son’s peditrician gave me a referral to a neurologist and my husband and I are amidst an argument of whether I should take him or not. My son is 6 years old and in 1st grade. When he was 2 he was diagnosed as developmentally delayed. He had speech and OT therapy for a year and and quickly caught up with other children in his age group. Last year at the beginning of Kindergarten he tested average for a 5 year old but as the year went on he seemed to become frustrated and emotional (he would cry all the time over every little thing) and fell behind. I called the school and set up a meeting. They agreed to look further into the problem but since it was close to the end of the school year it would have to wait. They suggested I let him go to summer school in the mean time. I did just that, in summer school he seemed to imporove but is still not on track for a 6 year old. I called the school on the second day of the beginning of the new year. They said that they had evaluated him in June and he qualified for speech and language services. I then made an appointment with his peditrician, she said she suspected ADD and CAPD. (he has very limited recall ability) I entirely disagree with ADD. My husband insists there is nothing wrong at all and he is just being “lazy”. I am going to take him to the neurologist despite his fathers protest, I just dont know how to convince him that our son has a problem and is not just being “lazy”
lazy?
Hi Cyberian,
You may want to have a look at “The Myth of Laziness” by Mel Levine. Better yet, hand that one to your husband and you read “A Mind at a Time”, also by Mel Levine. If your husband has limited reading time, perhaps you can find the companion videos at your local library. I find his explanations and use of examples very easy to grasp, and I spotted my son’s behaviors right away in some of the chapters. There seems to be a boom in information for kids with LD’s and mental health issues - you’re fortunate that your son is still young and can benefit from it. Good luck to you and your little guy. lbhmom
take him to the neurologist
I have been where you are and BELIEVE ME if you don’t nip this in the bud now it is just going to snowball from here. My son was “different” in kindergarten, he cried easily, he was very sensitive, was in his own little world half the time, very creative, easily overwhelmed, sensory seeking, had a hard time learning to read, but could draw detailed pictures of his own making and dictate his own narrative stories to go with his pictures, he rocked back and forth even when he wasn’t in a rocking chair. He later ended up being diagnosed ADD-Inattentive and now as a 19 year old I strongly suspect he is somewhere in the spectrum of Autism…. However, My son was NEVER labeled developmentally delayed, but he was definitely “quirky”.
And from my experience as an educator and SLP, kids who are labled developmentally delayed by school districts usually have a COGNITIVE component. Many parents don’t realize that label is there for a reason and sometimes the kids don’t catch up…they will always stay developmentally behind their peers. Your son could be in the spectrum but only a neurologist would be able to make that call, if I was you and my insurance was paying for this I would run to the Neurologist. You are laying the foundation for your son’s future and every chance you have to intervene and help him with therapy is worth pursuing.
Your husband is probably in denial and that is something all parents go through…but please take your son to find out the rest of the missing pieces that are causing your son’s developmental delay.
one other thing
There are sooo many tests out there for so many interrelated issues and none of them are cheap. Do get the testing done - it can tell you a lot - but if money is an issue you may want to join a study. I don’t know whether you’re in or near NYC, but NY Presbyterian seems to have a lot of studies going on for all kinds of things.
Re: A learning disability or just being "lazy"?
laziness is just an easy way out of having to face the real problem..
my parents always saw me as lazy and it wasn’t until i became a naughty terrible teenager that the school jumped in and told them there was a bigger issue at hand..
it would of been so much easier for me if i was properly diagnosed at a younger age, i would of, at minimum, learnt different strategies to organise and get motivated.. much harder to do this when you are a teenager with raging hormones..
the assessment is worth it, at least for your own piece of mind..
By all means keep the neurologist appointment.
As for your husband, I think many of us experienced the same thing with our spouses. Sometimes it may be that your husband suffered the same experiences in school and it is embarrasing for them to think maybe they have the same diagnosis.
I read “the secret life of the dyslexic child’ by Robert Frank and Dr. Shaywitz’s books. I read many passages to my husband that related to our kids. After awhile it became clear to him that our kids had an LD.
I liked the book by Robert Frank, as he is a childrens pyschologist and himself dyslexic. He was also called “lazy” his entire childhood.
Good Luck