ADHD

I really need input to my ADHD question posted on 2/21/03. Thanks!!

Lauryl, I suspect no one has responded because it’s a tough question. Several of the students I am most concerned about have no follow through at home. I have to assume that parents are doing the best that they can, even when it seems neglectful. Is there a social services agency that can provide family support and counseling? I think a parent like this needs to keep hearing from you and other professionals at school, and you need to document your efforts to work with her. Sometimes having the counselor, social worker, or nurse contact the mom helps. Sometimes it takes several years! As for behavior, is he in a regular classroom? If so, I’d convene and IEP meeting immediately and look at the appropriateness of this placement. How about a functional behavior assessment/behavior improvement plan? Take a look at www.behavioradvisor.com. How about having him work with a counselor on social skills? An aide? A mentor or buddy?

Is this student on an IEP? If not, has he been referred for eval? If he has been evaluated, and mother is not cooperating, there is not a whole lot you can do. I agree with Rover that a counselor should be found, and a behavior specialist needs to step in.
Over the almost thirty years of teaching, I have seen teachers resort to having parents of other students talk to administration and higher ups to get a parent to respond. I have even seen it go to Social Services intervention.
Have you had the mother in to watch her child in the classroom? Maybe she sees his behavior as normal. Also, has anyone sat down to listen to her side of the situation? Some single mothers are so overwhelmed with life that they are barely coping themselves.
Also, a school nurse can sometimes be a good contact as many parents see a nurse as care provider and someone they feel safe talking to.
Just a few ideas. Just remember to start finding positive things about the child, let the child know them and the parent. Then start a behavior program - the child needs it!

Thank you both for your input. There are many things I can try. ~Lauryl

she may be in denial and what you see at school is just the tip of the iceberg…She is probably overwhelemed and doing the best she can…but this child needs some intervention and you can make such a difference by creating an environment of structure and a save have for him to learn and grow from. One of my favorite books about teaching tough kids is Janet Allen’s It’s NEver too late…you may want to read it to keep your spirits up and give you more ideas on what you can do to help him..

I assume this child is on an IEP?. I would have the social worker make a home visit and impress upon the parent the importance of the follow up with medical staff. In addition he/she might be able to arrange transportation to the site, if this is an issue with the parent. Maybe she can’t take off work, etc and could meet at the Dr. office. The other issues will be difficult until this is remedied. I suspect the child knows of this issue and is frustrated as well and possibly disappointed at the parent. You can involve SRS but that would certainly create an alienation that you probably don’t want. Abuse comes in all forms

A friend of mine teaches VE. She kept on “Johnny” day after day b/c he never returned an important form - he kept saying “my dad’s out of town”. Well it finally dawned on the teacher that mom can’t read and dad’s out of town so Johnny will return the form when dad gets back in.

This is in a fairly affluent neighborhood school.

Not saying this mom can’t read - but just saying sometimes home has its own set of problems.

Has anyone ever really asked the mother if she wants to medicate her child? It is very generous of the school to finance the doctor’s visits and the medication - but medicating a child is a very personal choice (I do medicate my son). Why is the mother considered neglectful if she chooses not to do that? And why should social services go visit her house to talk her into it?

You say she doesn’t disagree with the school - are you sure that is the case? Maybe she’s intimidated by people at school telling her what she needs to do and is scared to disagree with them - but doesn’t really want to medicate her son.

I have been a young, single mother myself (many, many years ago). By the time I took my daughter to daycare, worked, picked her up from daycare, cooked dinner after running one or two errands with her, helped her with her homework, and then bath/story/bed - dishes/laundry - there truly isn’t any time left in the day. If she has a boss like I had back then - taking time off to take your child to the doctor when they are not “sick” is tantamount to mutiny - and is punished. My combined sick leave/vacation time was two weeks - which I needed for when my daughter really was sick and couldn’t go to school. I just worked sick.

Lauryl,

I have another question re: this issue. How was the child identified with ADHD? You say an appointment has been made to go to the doctor - what identifying criteria were used before now?

Many, many other diabilities mimic ADHD. A few include low thyroid, sensory integration dysfunction, dyslexia, speech apraxia, auditory processing disorders, visual perception disorders, non-verbal learning disorders, etc. Once the child’s environment is changed to be more acceptable to the child, or the child is appropriately REMEDIATED (not accommodated) for the disorder, the ADHD type behaviors often are alleviated if they don’t disappear all together. These other issues need to be checked out prior to medicating the child.

If the school is frustrated with the mother and student, something the school could do that would be fairly non-invasive is a functional behavior assessment. These are best performed by an OBJECTIVE, OUTSIDE SOURCE, with training in conducting these - it won’t be any more expensive for the school system than the doctor’s visit or the meds. These will provide clues as to what in the student’s environment triggers the unacceptable behaviors, and will give information as to how to deal with the student more appropriately.

Hope this helps some,
Lil

You are absolutely right Lil! Personal choice. How dare these people make judgements on this mother.

The school needs to make sure the mother truly agrees with the diagnosis.

And wait just a minute, who diagnosed this child ADHD. This dx is a medical diagnosis, not a guess-timation by school staff because the child is unruly at school.

Social services going to the house to strong arm the mother? Wow, I think we need to take a look at this staff.

My son was diagnosed ADHD (outside of the school system) after the school referred him for behavorial issues. Since the diagnosis has been in place, it has been a struggle to deal with the school. If he does not take a morning med and has a “bad” day, the school calls me to ask if I could give him a pill one hour before his regular dose. I have had teachers call me and scold me, in front of my son, for thinking about taking him off meds. I was told in third grade (he’s now in fifth), he wouldn’t need an IEP (I did not realize what an IEP was because the school did not advocate it in any way) since his behavior had improved on meds. I now realize, he needed to be on an intensive IEP, just to teach him good study habits and improve his self esteem. He’s always done well academically, but as he passes each grade and school becomes harder, he struggles more and more. In fourth grade, I literally threw up my hands in front of the principal, saying there had to be a program for my son. All she could say was that the year prior he had done well because he was on medication. I finally requested an IEP. After about two months of calling each week to find out what was going on, I was told the team was working on a behavior plan; there had been no discussion regarding an IEP. And eventually what I got instead, was a “diagnosis” that my son was not ADHD, but Asperger’s! I had not requested a new diagnosis, and certainly not from the school. Finally, after much insistence, the IEP was put in place. In actuality, he did not qualify for academic support; only for support in speech and occupational therapy. At the first parent-teacher conference in November 2002 (fifth grade) , I was told he would be passed on to sixth grade even though at that time he failed everything except Spelling. He did not qualify for a more intensive IEP; he was one of many who fell through the cracks of the system, until I insisted and insisted and made a pest of myself with the school. Now he has reading support. He is on a Positive Behavior Program, the key word being POSITIVE. The teachers do not implement it as it should be implemented.

Now, I know that teachers are overworked and underpaid. But they chose their profession and I strongly believe it is up to them to educate themselves regarding ADHD. I do not doubt that most teachers are competent to teach. But are all teachers competent enough to teach academically and socially challenged children?

If I could do it over again, I would not advocate immediately and without question, medication for my son. I would take more time to investigate my options. I would, once I realized there was something called an IEP out there,
advocate for an IEP with a professional IEP advocate. I would make sure I was aware of the legal issues. I would make sure I had a choice in my son’s teacher. I would make sure that if I felt his learning was being compromised in any way, shape or form, due to a prejudiced teacher, I would insist on a new teacher. And if all failed, I would withdraw him from the public school system and either homeschool him or send him to a private school. And then, if possible, I would take legal action.

Thank you for your time.

Hi Lil! Thanks for your input. There could be something else going on with student. We’ll check into it!~Lauryl

Karen,

Your post really shows why just giving medication to a child with ADHD is not the answer. I give my child meds and I know they help him, but it took a lot more than meds to make him into a happy, successful student. ADHD is not just a behavior problem. It affects our children’s educational, social and emotional progress and you’ve got to target all of these areas. Kids need behavioral therapy to help them learn to respond in appropriate ways. They need an IEP or a 504 plan at school that targets the areas they are having trouble with, which often include writing, reading, math and organization. They need parents or tutors to work with them at home to teach specific skills like how to organize a binder and how to write a paragraph. They need a thorough work-up by a knowledgeable physician to rule out other causes for ADHD-like symptoms. If a child is validly diagnosed and medication is prescribed (and not every ADHD child needs medication), that child should continue to be monitored by the presecribing physician to make sure that the medication is working as it should and that side effects are under control. Medication is just one tool in the box.

Andrea

unbelievable is all i can say about this posting. and your a teacher? wow. medicating is a personal choice, as a mom with a 10yr old severe odd, adhd i can say medicine can be good and bad. medication isnt all the answer. and why would the school assume that they have the right to push this parent to go free or not!!!! i really feel all of you educators need education yourselves in dealing with adhd, odd special needs students. you treat them like throw away children. i think you should read the parenting adhd board on this site and get a feel for what these kids and families go thru because of people like you and your school , you both should be ashamed!! good nite

Hi Lil,
I’m a teacher and Reading graduate student doing some research on how ADHD children are portrayed in children’s literature, specifically in the Jack Ganto’s Joey Pigza trilogy.
As part of my research I’m interested in talking to “real people” about their experiences with ADHD children. I started reading Lauryl’s plea for some help with her student and his mom and I really appreciated your perspective. I’m wondering if you would mind communicating a bit on your dealings with ADHD children. Have you read any of Jack Ganto’s books, specifically any of the Joey Pigza stories?
I hope you don’t mind my questions. This is such a fascinating topic and “talking” directly with those who’ve been there means more to me than reading lots of scientific books written by people who haven’t lived with the creativity and wonder of an ADHD child.

Thanks,
Teresa

Mother is not a educational professional, most mums are not trained to diagnose, or deal with ADHD, or even teach children, otherwise there would be no need for schools or teachers. Mum is probably doing the best she can at home, and is blissfully unaware of your concerns or professional judgement. Some mums are in denial, they can’t understand or accept their children have a learning disability, and some believe this is a reflection on their parenting skills, they feel they are to blame, that the child’s learning disability is their fault. Many struggle on alone, trying to get their child on an educational level with their class peers, try as best they can, they too believe what they have been told by professionals and teachers, that their child, needs discipline, needs to have them watching over the childs shoulder constantly, ranting on, and trying to get the child, to do homework, or to read, write etc. When you’re doing this constantly to no avail, you become worn out. If you have other children, trying to coordinate afterschool education, to suit and help each one, can result in mayhem. Parents aren’t professionals, and have not been trained or taught how to teach children, that is why they’re not qualified teachers and are not paid to teach children in schools, to expect parents to do the job of professional teachers in the home, is asking a bit much. There maybe an underlying cause of the ADHD, like dyslexia, or a neurological problem, which can be remedied in the classroom, by moving the child up to the front of the class, so the child has a better view of the blackboard, to copy down work, homework etc, give the child handouts/printouts etc if they are slow writers, or have difficulties writing. Give that child, work on subjects that they are interested in, which will motivate and focus their attention. There is no reason why a child with ADHD cannot suceed educationally. If a child has behavioural difficulties as a result of a neurological problem, there is no point continually punishing the child for bad behaviour. It would be better for you to focus on and tackle the underlying neurological problems of the child. To provide inclusive education, instead of writing that child off. The child may not be getting any support in the home, and may come from a deprived background, but at school this child is still entitled to participate on an equal footing with his classmates, and should not be deprived of the same educational opportunities as his class mates, just because he comes from an unstable financial or familial background. In fact it is all the more necessary that at school this child is provided with educaitional opportunities. Coming from a poverty stricken background in South africa, where education was our only avenue of escape from poverty and social instability. It is distressing to see that still today, children are written off educationally and thus have no avenue of escape from their deprived backgrounds.

I have been away from this board for a while and you put that quite wonderfully,