Off topic questin on giving pre-teens computer access

Personally, I think it is advantage that they will be in your space all the time. That means that you won’t be tempted to ignore how long they have been surffing because you will find their presence annoying. I use the same principle for video games. We have only one TV and it is in the family room. With our open floor plan, I can’t help be aware of how long they have been playing.

I think it becomes more complicated when you hit high school. We have an office area at one end of our bedroom. It is semi-separate but there is no door and the only access is through our bedroom. When my high school sophmore daughter was in eighth grade, she was always in our room on the computer. By then, she had started typing everything. It was really annoying (especially her mess—mine is bad enough). We bought her a computer for eighth grade graduation which is in her room.

This is not a perfect solution but other than our bedroom the only other alternative was the family room. That is difficult because it would preclude the rest of us having a life when she needed to write papers (which is almost constantly). If I had to do it all again, I’d put the computer in her room but not give her internet access. I’d make her come use our computer, which would be somewhat of an imposition but not nearly as bad as the writing of papers. But at this point, it would be perceived as punishment and she really hasn’t done anything to lose our trust. I just dislike it more than I thought I would.

Beth

Both of my kids have computers in their rooms with internet access. And, Yes, I do monitor it! They both know that I will check their computers randomly for anything that shouldn’t be there. I know places to look that they don’t know about. :) They also both started with parental blocks so that as they got older I could give them more freedom or restrictions, as needed. Now I have to admit that neither of my kids are big on internet usage other than very specific special interest, so its never been a concern.

There are a number of very good parental control programs available and some even have timers, if you are concerned with the amount of time they are spending on the internet.

My 3 boys are 9ys old, 11 and 12. They have internet access. They only go to places I allow and have timers they set. They have blogs at a homeschool blog board. They write stories and narrate about their day. It’s good writing and conversation practice and safe. I read all notes before they do and everyone there is a homeschooler (mom or child). My oldest is learning HTML and can change background and font, etc.
They research for reports- again- I am right there with them to help make sure they don’t click things that would lead to a bad place.

We only hav one computer with the internet rightnow, so they take turns.

I have a few educational game sites that have online games they play, as well.

YOu’ve gotten good advice - bottom line is you really, really, really can’t assume that things will be okay. The stories I hear from the school librarians’ listserv… the brawl that happened on our campus because of stuff students posted on facebook… it’s very analogous to teh Wild Wild West (the real place, not the TV show :-)).

Google “Nancy Willard” - she’s written a lot about this problem.

Both my kids have laptops. Only because they are in a school laptop program. We bought the laptops. They are 7 and 10. They like it and are learning neat stuff. It’s not an issue about chat rooms and stuff yet. I will use more parent controls later. Kids need to learn how to use a computer. I do talk to my kids about inappropriate sites or popups. They know to let me know. So, I’m watching it. I think they are learning from day one what to use a computer for. They school is big on it too.

Just watch things like “facebook” and other places that are extremely popular, but that means that the bad guys know about it too; kids who are sure they know it all will still post their phone numbers “to their friends” but where all the universe can see it.