Is it too late?

Hi everyone. I’m new here, so please bear with me if I ramble. I’ll try to keep it brief and to the point (yeah, right…)

I’m 46 years old and I was FINALLY diagnosed with severe ADD (and also MRELD) in the fall of 2001. I’m a fairly intelligent guy (I think my verbal and written IQ was close to 130), but I’ve had trouble with learning in school since I was 13 or 14 years old, and I’ve had trouble holding a job since I was kicked out of my family home at age 17.

Now that I’m on SSDI, I wanted to pursue my dream of getting a college education. But I never expected it to be this hard.

The academic rigors are only part of the problem, of course. With significant learning challenges and limited support at the school, I struggle to keep up with other students in almost every class, but especially the math classes. I’ve had trouble with math since I was 12, but I do not know exactly what it is about math that causes me such agony. And of course, I pay my own way, pay the rent on my own apartment and all the bills too, so my attention is constantly interrupted by the ongoing chaos of my unmanageable life. Even if those distractions were eliminated, I would still need additional support to excel in academics. I’m lucky to have a keen intellect and strong reading/writing skills, though.

I know for a FACT that young children learn new concepts and information much faster when they are young, so I don’t expect miracles at my age. However, I’m wondering just how much of a capacity I have to learn. I get so discouraged by the lack of support and all the bureaucratic crap I have to wade through, not to mention all the obligations of finances and time I have outside school, that I often wonder if I’m just fooling myself about getting a degree. It is too late for me?

I want to know from others who are “advanced” in age as I am what you think and what your experiences have been. I see lots of older people in college, but it’s almost always the same scenarios: for women, they’re married or single moms with kids grown up or they’re supported by public programs and they’re returning to school for themselves. For the men, most of them are retired or changing careers and have a family or other support network to draw strength from. I have none of that.

I realize there is a difference between what can happen and what WILL happen. While I know beyond all doubt that I am smart enough to graduate with honors, the reality of my life makes that seem about as unlikely as me becoming the next president. I like to encourage others as much as anyone, but I believe in being realistic. Sometimes there are forces beyond our control that simply prevent us from doing the things we dream of doing, despite having the ability to do them.

And am I too old to learn new things? Should I just accept that life dealt me a hand that does NOT happen to include the Ace of Education?

What do you all think?

And please, I’m not looking for the usual “atta-boys” or “just be positives”. I need real, practical advice. I need something I can use.

Ollin