I frequent about a dozen message boards, several geared more towards sped teachers than families with autistic children. Now and again I see posts pop up in which sped teachers complain about parents who are less than team players, or do not seem to take a true interest in their children’s education. Many times it is because the parents may not have the background to understand what the schools are doing (or not doing as the case may be), other times it is because they are too busy trying to raise kids and work to support the same. There are even those who just don’t care (I like to think that this is an extreme minority of parents, but…)
But sometimes it is because of the state of seige the parents are living in. There are a great many difficulties in raising many of our extraordinary needs kids. My wife and I are extremely fortunate in that our autistic boy, my youngest child, is really not so very difficult to raise (many times I think the two teenagers are way more trouble than my youngest is)
I give you a story from the Oreganian, about one such family. Children iith severe CP, or Spina Bifida, or Down’s also have their own unique trials, sometimes greater sometimes less than the story here. So when you face off against one of the Moms from Hell (and we truly wear that title like a badge), perhaps just take half a minute to step into the other shoes, and maybe you will see it is not really each other we are battling, but something which is beyond our ability to avoid, a profoundly handicapped child whose needs often surpass our ability to meet them.
http://www.oregonlive.com/morenews/oregonian/index.ssf?/xml/story.ssf/html_standard.xsl?/base/news/99736024217397185.xml
Re: "This is how we live"
I agree with you that the best outcome for any child with special needs or any child for that fact is when the school and parents work together. Even when this team work occurs though there may be a complaint. Raising and teaching children today can be very difficult with todays quick stressful enviroment. We all need to be able to “vent” or ask for advice. I think this is what is occuring when we see these complaints on web sites meant for a helping hand. The individual reaching out is doing it the only way they know how. They get the help and response they need and continue on. I have 2 boys with “special” needs, including 1 with Autism. Although I feel I do my best to be a good team player I know I sometimes can come across as demanding (what parent isnt) and this might cause a teacher stress. This can work in reverse to. Both my boys have made wonderful strides including ones they “never” should of according to the experts. I feel my boys progress is a result of team work, from us the childrens parents, the school, and the community. I would like to thank all those involved in educationing my children, Thanks!
Dear Dad,
Thank you for your message about being a parent of a handicapped child. I have worked with a wide variety of handicapped children over the past fifteen years, only a handful of children with Autism. I will say as a teacher, it is very frustrating to know that the support and follow through that we feel is necessary for a childs progress may not happen in some homes.
But we must keep in mind that it does the child no good to be upset with what Mom and Dad can and cannot do. Autism is not the easiest disability to deal with and if we want success for the child, we must learn to support one another and offer what comfort, compasion and understanding we can to the child and the child’s family. When we find a common level of respect, admiration, trust, and understanding we can work forward to assisting a child who really needs everyones support.
Good luck in your quest.
Kathy